Safe Speed Forums

I'm not a parent, but surely one of the key aspects of parenthood is to allow children a steadily growing, but controlled, measure of independence as they grow older.

Some middle-class parents seem to be absolutely paranoid about the risks, but if you insist on driving your child to school until the age of 17, they're not likely to emerge as well-rounded citizens, nor to be suited to driving a car at that age.

On the other hand, you still see lots of kids of 8 and above roaming the streets at all times of night

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But of course - you allow a little more lee-way all the time and re-negotiate boundaries.

I expect my kids to challenge my authority - and we negotiate all the time.



Ah! But William drives himself and his brothers and sisters to school - whilst I go to work and my wife plays around with the baby and directs her team from her own den here. She's on maternity still.

He's getting practice of rush hour and mumpty driving, independence and responsibilty for his younger brothers and sisters. They have to respect his authority whilst he is driving as well.

Think it has certainly developed his sense of respsonsibilty - and he's off to Africa after his exams in the summer for a gap year.

Still cannot believe I have child doing A Levels. Only seems like yesterday when I sat mine! (Mine were harder! )



This really worries me - and these are the kids who do go missing as well or get run over...and never achieve potential.

Mine have never been allowed to roam. Like knowing where they are at all times, that they are safe and that they are not annoying anyone or committing any crimes.

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I completley agree, society has changed, suddenly the likes of peadophiles are almost acceptable in society, especially after they have served their time. This is why parents are more protective and rightley so

The balance of freedom and protection gets harder to deal with.

I do not lock my kids in the house, however they have very strict ground rules in comparison to some parents methods.

They must call when they arrive where they are going. They are not permitted on the street after dark, which at this time of the year means they are home by 4 pm or they have to wait at their freinds until i or my wife pick them up.

There is no point in a child hanging around or walking home in the dark. This not only makes them vulnerable, it also allows them to commit unsociable behavior, when they get bored with their freinds.

As parents we have to make choices, the one i made is i never want to have to see my child after being attacked, or worse identify them. When you get to this point it is too late, prevention is far better than cure

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Steve

As i do and the mobile phone.

This only happened just before xmas, i found some messages on my 12 year olds mobile, a lad making sexual suggestions to my daughter. Called the police, it turned out to be a 16 year old lad, in sixth form at her school. Fortunatley nipped it in the bud, and he has been dealt with. The risks are real, and it can happen at any time, anywhere and to your children

Now, if we did let my daughter make her own way to school, this situaction could of already gone too far before i spotted it.

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Steve

A few more words

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Steve

Quote:- A few more words


Don't like typing

Have to totally agree. There were a couple of paedophiles in my home town. One with that sort of tendency was a teacher. Difference is that then people did not move around so much and these guys were ' known'. We kids were aware of them and always avoided risking a compromising encounter. The very few slight transgressions were dealt with by a 'good talking to' , if necessary of the kind that resulted in a black eye. Everyone, including the police, accepted this as a normal way to dealing with deviants. It was only mentioned when necessary - it was not the substance of news and TV. No-one hyped it Is today's approach really better ?

Trouble is - we have more media opportunities to feed their appetites and even the most innocent photo on the net can be manipulated in some way to satisfy some peculiar urge on he part of these individuals.

However, I think preventing parents from photographing and filming their own children in a school play is way too extreme a measure - and only serves to reinforce fear and suspicion where none exists.

It does not do much for child development either - as children do need to grow up with a certain awareness of danger and survival instincts.

It is a case of assessing the risks and reacting with reasonable care and balance. My own tell me where they are - and like the Mad Lad - monitor mobile phones and the computers for my younger ones. My elder son is away at Uni and my elder daughter is on a backpack adventure. She calls home every other day to let us know how she is.

Of my younger children - one cycles to school and other insists on the bus!

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