Safe Speed Forums

http://www.boners.com/grub/796644.html

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was

trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win
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Semper in excreta, nur quantitat variat.

http://www.boners.com/grub/794178.html

In a similar vein, when in trouble don't keep digging.

I observed a drunk and disorderly case, where the prosecution described the defendant as being "Drunk as a judge", the judge responded "I believe the term is drunk as a lord".

To which, the response was "As your lordship pleases"

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Gordon Brown saying I got the country into it's current economic mess so I'll get us out of it is the same as Bomber Harris nipping over to Dresden and offering to repair a few windows.

Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.

http://www.wildcrafts.co.uk

Better than scameras!!

http://www.boners.com/grub/791280.html

Briliant!

In my younger days i lived in a small village where the local docter was the police one.

One incident was bandied round - doc goes to a call out of hours, gets back in car with Mr Walker as co driver ,to find no wheel etc. Doc calls the police ,who find him in rear seat.
Another time Doc called out in drink driving case to pass judgement .
Police officer " is this man drunk" --Doc "no,he's as sober as me " (from doc who would have trouble walking straight).

But this was in days before breatheliser.(And before our medic members conplain - no slur is intended on any member of medical profession posting on here - required posting due to HSE attacks by flamers)