Safe Speed Forums

an amusing take on ridiculous scares by a friend of mine

A new study conducted at Lancaster University has revealed that Britain's hitherto apparently limitless supply of time is diminishing. Research by Nugent, Neal and Zeqiri has suggested that by 2020, there will only be 32 minutes left in the country - and eighteen of those will be less than forty seconds long.

The focus group was alerted to the situation when an hour was reported missing in Birmingham last November. Since then, two further hours have disappeared, in addition to sixteen different minutes, and forty-three seconds. Nugent stated "the pattern suggests that by the year 2020, we'll have lost almost all of our hours - we'll be left with a scattering of minutes and some flimsy, useless seconds."

The team has urged the government to find new, renewable sources of time - an early blueprint to erect an enormous egg-timer above London has been dismissed as "unworkable shit".

"we need to start thinking about our clockwork footprint" Zeqiri later urged during an interview

I'd better give up work and go and live my last few seconds then?

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Useless laws weaken necessary laws.

Please live them carefully, we need to make sure we preserve enough hours for our children, and our childrens children. There is a proposal to introduce a new "time tax" on certain activities which take too long to help discourage spare time wastage.

Meh
The attention span of the average prole is already down to minutes as it is, by 2020 seconds will be the only time frame we will need anyway.

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Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.