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Fire Brigading.

Blandshire Constabulary has a tried and tested method of responding to any of the resource-intensive crises that can descend on it on a given day, such as terrorist strike, animal rights demonstration, Chief Constable visit, or snowfall.

When the fourth listed crisis occurs, an air-call goes out to inform everyone that they should immediately sit on their arses in the police station and only leave if one of the first three above crises occurs. Calls from the public will only be attended if the inspector considers that the likelihood of the caller dying is greater than the likelihood of the attending officer aquaplaning into a crash barrier en route. As police officers are more than capable of aquaplaning into crash barriers on days when it is dry and sunny, it is therefore likely that on snowy days we will not leave the police station at all. Anyone breaking into cars, houses, beating up their partners or running amok with a variety of weapons should feel free to continue.