Liebchen
Headlines und front page.. Prescott at "work" playing croquet on lawn at Dorneywood und taaking cronies to discuss HOMELESSNESS to lunch at Hampton Court where they dined rather lavishly on bruschetta with tomato un basil, salmon with lemon und dill, honey mustard galzed cocktail sausages und fruit kebabs und then had bespoke tours of palace ..
und then afternoon cream tea - so not much work then und we paid £1000 per head for this according to the paper :rolleyes:
including the tour of palace which ist normally reserved for foreign Royals und Presidents.
Page 7 - Faldo's third marriage hits the skids.
Page 8-9 - The murder on the train at Oxenholme in our Lakes.
Page 11 - Police take Reid to court over the planned mergers of the 43 forces as no one really wants this.
Page 12 - MMR rumours again
Page 13 - Queen Knickers of Knickerbox has affair with Princess Diana author Andrew Morton
(Nein - ist not made up ist what is says
Page 15 - Yale, Harvard und Princeton clammered for moderately Desmond degreed Blair Junior "because they wanted a Blair on campus"
Why - Prince William und Prince Harry would have been better "crowd pullers"
Page 17 - NASA plans a Moonbase. Und they can make oxygen from lunar soil apparently ...
Page 18 - Interview with "Cash for Peerage" candidate
Page 20-21 - ITN chief forbid newsgirl Andrea Caterwood from competing in X Factor
Like I am really bovvered
Also on same page - so long as you can prove you kicked your drug habit - you can become a "spook"
Page 24 - Brittle bone parents flee to Ireland so that they can keep new baby.
Their other three taken into care because of broken bones.
und ist a genetic disease
Page 26 - As Student (Dave Cameron who pedals the fastest bicycle in the West (dayyy-veeeee!
) was almost recruited by KGB in gap year!
Page 31 - Peter Dobbie discusses Cherie's autograph on Hutton report.
Page 33 - Peter Hitchens comments on the week that was - und none of it what Bliar would like to read
Page 35 - Suzanne Moore compares David Cameron to Whale Music as his spiel ooozes "feel good greeny stuff!"
Page 36 - Reid claims he will not acto on CREB fiasco which has given a man 31 convictions which he does not even have.. und one Arkala was supposedly in jail at the time she was supervising a Cub Camp.
Money Mail reports how Tesco are now to sell big name computers und how Hornby has upped its profits by £8.1 m. (Ist Mad Doc und our kittens - they are seriously into train sets und Scalextric
Und analyses the Pension plan which sees us paying more und working longer for less.
Und Bill Oddie's sidekick Kate Humble wants it to be known she ist no blonde bimbo on page 27.
Page 39 - Clare Short has fallen for Mo Mowlam's widowed husband und sees ousting Bliar as number one priority ..
Page 40 Prince Philip says
Quote:
Ban those Bloody Awful Opening und Closing Ceremonies at Olympic und Commonwealth Games - ist tedious pain in the neck - are bllody boring!"
We have story of "sex for visas" person now renting his flat to illegal immigrants ..
Page 43 - Indonesian earthquake report...
Page 46 - Queen aged 17 had hots for someone not called Philip
Page 49 - teh T shirt which monitors your heart as you work out
Page 50 - Schools hypnotise children to boost exam results
Page 51 - Boy who inspired Beatrix Potter to write about Peter Rabbit grew into rather nasty man who was not nice to children (to put it delicately
)
Rest ist about the World Cup und Travel.
On Letters page - oen reader tells Livingstone to return to his cave or stone from whence he crawled!
Und now you have the low-down on the paper as it appeared in our local newsagent.
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