JT wrote:
I regularly sit in with some very talented rally drivers, and have observed (in normal driving) that they tend to have the ability to cover ground at a surprising pace without alarming nervous passengers. Conversely, I sometimes cadge a lift off a neighbour of mine and he terrifies me, but going at a fraction of the speed. I suppose this demonstrates that "you can't measure safe driving in miles per hour!"
I bet you I can find some passengers that they could alarm

The worst thing with my mum is when she is behind the wheel she is faster and more agressive than me, and she tailgates people who are going too slow for her!
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But seriously, I think the key issues are driving smoothly, planning ahead, and positioning the car for maximum observation, so they can see what's going on.
Perhaps another approach is to change your priorities slightly. If you have a known bag of nerves sat next to you then aim to drive smoothly rather than quickly - instead of seeing how much you can scare them see how much you can put them at ease. You'll have to work harder but you'll probably end up going not much slower!
I don't go out of my way to scare, but I don't want to hang about either. It is usually overtakes that scare them, the passenger can't see what's coming and you can't do much about that until just after you start your manouvre. You also can't do much about body roll on corners other than take them slower.
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Cars with deep seats and little body roll tend to feel like they are cornering a lot slower than they actually are, too...
This is true.
As for the MPH thing, an event years back with my ex (who doesn't drive, and beleived the speed kills crap at the time) was quite amusing, we were on the M62 in my crappy MkIV Escort, pretty much empty road, now the thing with the Escort is it would hit the resonant frequency of the bodywork when doing between 75 and 100 MPH, which didn't bother her too much, then at 100 it suddenly stops and everything goes deathly quiet, this wakes her up, then she looks over at the speedo, then she shits herself.
At the end of the trip she admitted that she felt safe until she saw the number, so I'm probably right about speed.