Safe Speed Forums

Came across this quiz in Autocar......a bit back...it deserves discussion Modified a bit cos of copyright For a bit of fun!

Q1. How do you start your car?

a) Turn key - gently blip throttle
b) Turn key - enjoy apocalyptic noise which sound like a do biting the Bee Gees
c) you don't - these are your house keys....

Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually

a) 80 mph
b) 64 mph - those 22 inch wheells were a mistake
c) Motor Your road map still says "red flag area!"

Q3 What is on your car stereo?

a) Whatever the I-Pod shufflle mode comes up with
b) Terrifying new Wave American band which gives you a nosebleed just from touching the CD case
c) Nothing - the gramophone slot - whatever - in the car will not take 78 rpm vinyls

Q4 . What is your dream car?

a) Ferrari F430 for weekends .... a Smart Fortwo for cities and a Stag for everything else (or should that be Moggie )
b) Subaru Impreza - lowered and bodykitted Exhaust so huge that bloke who sucks his tail pipe finds it is so huge and loud that it is really an artillary.... and reacts badly with organically created lentil methane....
c) Do they still make Wolseleys? No? Well a new Austin Metro will do then.....


Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

a) You would not be seen dead in any hat...
b) One of those tight white caps which looks like you may have special needs
c) A tweed trilby....


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

a) Relaxed - slighly ben arms and querter to three...
b) A neanderthal lean - like the guy in Planet of the Apes....
c) Hunched and squinting wioth the nose pressed against the windscreen

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

a) On the drive - as the garage is full of car bits....for the dream car
b) Outside yuour parents' house (which is where you live and shall continue to live as it is much easier to be kept than get married and face responsibility and adulthood starts at 40 anyway....)
c) wherever irt rolls to - HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT MODERN CARS HAVE HANDBRAKES...... .

Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?

a) haribo Sweet and Sour Mix ( )
b) McDonalds anything ....
c) Werthers Originals.....


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

a) jacket and mobile phone
b) Extremely bored looking 16 year old girl who only fancies you because you have a car... and she's got more zits than you ...
c) Reading glasses, spare trllby and pack of werther's originals.....


Q10 What is in your boot?

a) Nothing
b) bass bin of such power that the mere at of switching it on causes a seismological office to go on red alert....
c) Rug.. Daily Mail emergency supply of Wether's Originals....


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for

a) driving at 95 mph on a deserted motorway at 3 am
b) Driving at 62 mph on a busy high street ...
c) Driving at 20 mph on the south bound carriageway of the M1 when you thought you were heading North?


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

a) Invisibility - especially in a forest of Gatsos and talivans..
b) More places to store neons, spoilers and an extra woofer which will compete with a full moon?
c) Washable water resistant seat covers or a Werther's originals dispenser....


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

a) M1 /A52 - sorted
b) Get as far as Watford's Halfords and hang around in a car park revving the engine and playing tunes so loudly it wakes up Ipswich....
c) Set off in the wrong directions and travel around the M25 for 8 hours ... and go home to wathch telly....


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?

a) Unleaded
b) Super unleaded because your mate got a Saxo right? He says right yeah - that its worth an extra 50 bhp innit - yeah...
c) Screen wash , cat food and the bucket by the self serve pump just gotta be petrol... and the car likes its Werthers too...


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?

a) Reset trip, set off at a moderate pace
b) Light cigarette and explode away in a flurry of wheelspin that Clarkson would declare as excessive
c) Too many revs,... wild eyed panic hit reverse in a a panic and drive over the excessively priced flowers which a desparate man buys when he realises to his horror that he has forgotten a birthday....






Mostly A - Normal balanced driver who will not wake up on Sunday and potter off to the coast at 23 mph and accidnetally drive into the sea But don't get to comfortable as you may be one of those who think revving an engine is a bit anti-social


Mostly B You are not an OLD FARTY - but extremley young as evidenced by the amount of grease on your face and in your hair. But why are you on this site as here are no pictures of girls in scanty beach wear or less


Mostly C Oh dear you are an old farty - possibly our pet troll and your natural habitat is wherever we want to go - just in front of us and travelling at a speed so low it cannot be registered by the naked eye...You are confused by the road and by the controls of your car and are one of those who cannot fathom the off switch of the fog light. Have not seen the attractive terms of a bus pass?

_________________
If you want to get to heaven - you have to raise a little hell!

Smilies are contagious
They are just like the flu
We use our smilies on YOU today
Now Good Causes are smiling too!

KEEP SMILING
It makes folk wonder just what you REALLY got up to last night!

Smily to penny.. penny to pound
safespeed prospers-smiles all round! !
But the real message? SMILE.. GO ON ! DO IT! and the world will smile with you!
Enjoy life! You only have the one bite at it.

I just hope somebody is kind enough to take the keys away from me if I ever start to turn into (c). Mind you I do like a Worthers every now and then and those tweed trilby hats look pretty snazzy.....

Q1. How do you start your car?
a) Turn key - gently blip throttle
b) Turn key - enjoy apocalyptic noise which sound like a do biting the Bee Gees
c) you don't - these are your house keys....

Turn the key, no need to touch the throttle


Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually
a) 80 mph
b) 64 mph - those 22 inch wheells were a mistake
c) Motor Your road map still says "red flag area!"

Depends on the conditions and whether I am riding or driving.
If driving, I tend to float anywhere between 60-85mph. If riding, then again I float around the 80 mark although I have been known to reach the wrong side of 140 on an empty motorway.


Q3 What is on your car stereo?
a) Whatever the I-Pod shufflle mode comes up with
b) Terrifying new Wave American band which gives you a nosebleed just from touching the CD case
c) Nothing - the gramophone slot - whatever - in the car will not take 78 rpm vinyls

Never turn the stereo on, I find it annoying.


Q4 . What is your dream car?
a) Ferrari F430 for weekends .... a Smart Fortwo for cities and a Stag for everything else (or should that be Moggie )
b) Subaru Impreza - lowered and bodykitted Exhaust so huge that bloke who sucks his tail pipe finds it is so huge and loud that it is really an artillary.... and reacts badly with organically created lentil methane....
c) Do they still make Wolseleys? No? Well a new Austin Metro will do then.....

Anything that is big, lazy, & develops an obscene amount of BHP (aka, a Yank)


Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?
a) You would not be seen dead in any hat...
b) One of those tight white caps which looks like you may have special needs
c) A tweed trilby....

None


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?
a) Relaxed - slighly ben arms and querter to three...
b) A neanderthal lean - like the guy in Planet of the Apes....
c) Hunched and squinting wioth the nose pressed against the windscreen

One hand on the wheel, the other on the gearstick


Q7 Where is your car parked at night?
a) On the drive - as the garage is full of car bits....for the dream car
b) Outside yuour parents' house (which is where you live and shall continue to live as it is much easier to be kept than get married and face responsibility and adulthood starts at 40 anyway....)
c) wherever irt rolls to - HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT MODERN CARS HAVE HANDBRAKES...... .

On the drive, as the garage is full of bikes & associated bits


Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?
a) haribo Sweet and Sour Mix ( )
b) McDonalds anything ....
c) Werthers Originals.....

Mucky D


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?
a) jacket and mobile phone
b) Extremely bored looking 16 year old girl who only fancies you because you have a car... and she's got more zits than you ...
c) Reading glasses, spare trllby and pack of werther's originals.....

Empty Mucky D containers/bags


Q10 What is in your boot?
a) Nothing
b) bass bin of such power that the mere at of switching it on causes a seismological office to go on red alert....
c) Rug.. Daily Mail emergency supply of Wether's Originals....

Nothing


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for
a) driving at 95 mph on a deserted motorway at 3 am
b) Driving at 62 mph on a busy high street ...
c) Driving at 20 mph on the south bound carriageway of the M1 when you thought you were heading North?

Driving at 46mph in a 40 zone. Actual reason for stop was because of speed combined with the fact it was chucking out time (11.30pm)


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?
a) Invisibility - especially in a forest of Gatsos and talivans..
b) More places to store neons, spoilers and an extra woofer which will compete with a full moon?
c) Washable water resistant seat covers or a Werther's originals dispenser....

Washing it


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby
a) M1 /A52 - sorted
b) Get as far as Watford's Halfords and hang around in a car park revving the engine and playing tunes so loudly it wakes up Ipswich....
c) Set off in the wrong directions and travel around the M25 for 8 hours ... and go home to wathch telly....

What part of Derby?
Either way the M1 is involved.


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?
a) Unleaded
b) Super unleaded because your mate got a Saxo right? He says right yeah - that its worth an extra 50 bhp innit - yeah...
c) Screen wash , cat food and the bucket by the self serve pump just gotta be petrol... and the car likes its Werthers too...

I don't put petrol in my car, if I did then it would trash the diesel injection pump


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?
a) Reset trip, set off at a moderate pace
b) Light cigarette and explode away in a flurry of wheelspin that Clarkson would declare as excessive
c) Too many revs,... wild eyed panic hit reverse in a a panic and drive over the excessively priced flowers which a desparate man buys when he realises to his horror that he has forgotten a birthday....

Dump the clutch (with no throttle) and coast towards the exit on tickover. Can't reset the trip counter as it doesn't work

_________________
What makes you think I'm drunk officer, have I got a fat bird with me?

Q1. How do you start your car?

Same as Gixxer, but blip the throttle if it's a cold day.

Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually


d) Safe!

Q3 What is on your car stereo?

d) Fag ash Must get the hoover out. Otherwise same as Gixxer.


Q4 . What is your dream car?

DB9 or 550 Maranello


Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

I could only wear a hat about a quarter of an inch high due to headroom. If I drove the popemobile or a drop top I'd wear my Barmah.


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

a) Relaxed - slighly bent arms and quarter to three...

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

a) On the drive - as the garage is full of car bits, but not car bits, just the usual junk that ends up in there when your shed gets full.


Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?

Don't have one.


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

Er, nothing usually.


Q10 What is in your boot?

Spare wheel - d'oh! Also oil, water, some basic tools, jack, compressor that runs off the lighter socket, spare bulbs, fuel can etc.


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for

57 in a 30 limit that could (and IMO should) have been NSL. 3 points and 40 quid fine (it was sometime in about 1994 I think).


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

Climate control. Air con is okay, but CC even better.


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

a) M1 /A52 - sorted? [Harry Enfield character]Nooo. You don't wanna go down the A52. You wanna get off at junction 24, get on the A50 and then get on the A514[/Harry Enfield character]


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?

a) Unleaded


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?

See question 1

_________________
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler - Einstein

Well I am pleased, I answered mainly A but with quite a few B's so that must mean I am reasonably balanced but most definately not an OLD FARTY.

BTW, I have been known to exit the local service station sideways .... that lovely film of oil & petrol on the tyres and yippee....

_________________
Ross

Yes I'm a hoon, but only on the track!!!!

Mostly 'A's but a few 'C's creeping in there (but nothing to do with Werthers thank God), excuse while I go hang myself

Q1. How do you start your car?

a) Turn key - gently blip throttle
b) Turn key - enjoy apocalyptic noise which sound like a do biting the Bee Gees
c) you don't - these are your house keys....

D - Switch ignition on pause 2 secs, switch off - repeat 4 times, then turn starter. My car runs on LPG and this is the only way to do a "gas start". The alternative would be to leave it in 'petrol' mode, in which it starts 1st time without the messing (but this is planning from the night before)

Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually

a) 80 mph
b) 64 mph - those 22 inch wheells were a mistake
c) Motor Your road map still says "red flag area!"

A



Q3 What is on your car stereo?

a) Whatever the I-Pod shufflle mode comes up with
b) Terrifying new Wave American band which gives you a nosebleed just from touching the CD case
c) Nothing - the gramophone slot - whatever - in the car will not take 78 rpm vinyls

D - Radio 5

Q4 . What is your dream car?

a) Ferrari F430 for weekends .... a Smart Fortwo for cities and a Stag for everything else (or should that be Moggie )
b) Subaru Impreza - lowered and bodykitted Exhaust so huge that bloke who sucks his tail pipe finds it is so huge and loud that it is really an artillary.... and reacts badly with organically created lentil methane....
c) Do they still make Wolseleys? No? Well a new Austin Metro will do then.....

D - anything around 1500 cc which has space for an LPG fuel tank and then some carriage space


Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

a) You would not be seen dead in any hat...
b) One of those tight white caps which looks like you may have special needs
c) A tweed trilby....

A


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

a) Relaxed - slighly ben arms and querter to three...
b) A neanderthal lean - like the guy in Planet of the Apes....
c) Hunched and squinting wioth the nose pressed against the windscreen

B - oh dear, I do have Neanderthol traits!

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

a) On the drive - as the garage is full of car bits....for the dream car
b) Outside your parents' house (which is where you live and shall continue to live as it is much easier to be kept than get married and face responsibility and adulthood starts at 40 anyway....)
c) wherever irt rolls to - HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT MODERN CARS HAVE HANDBRAKES...... .


D - I leave it on the street

Q8 What is your fave in-car snack? [/b]

a) haribo Sweet and Sour Mix ( )
b) McDonalds anything ....
c) Werthers Originals.....

D - Prawn-mayonnaise sandwiches with cheese and onion crisps (disgusting but lovely - my dog is pregnant, I am eating the weirdest of things for her!!)


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

a) jacket and mobile phone
b) Extremely bored looking 16 year old girl who only fancies you because you have a car... and she's got more zits than you ...
c) Reading glasses, spare trllby and pack of werther's originals.....

D - the rubbish from the prawn-mayo sarnies and crisps!!!


Q10 What is in your boot?

a) Nothing
b) bass bin of such power that the mere at of switching it on causes a seismological office to go on red alert....
c) Rug.. Daily Mail emergency supply of Wether's Originals....

D - A large LPG gas cannister which will take me around 400 miles on one £18 filling


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for

a) driving at 95 mph on a deserted motorway at 3 am
b) Driving at 62 mph on a busy high street ...
c) Driving at 20 mph on the south bound carriageway of the M1 when you thought you were heading North?

D - being already stopped on a slipway at Filey in North Yorkshire at about 1 in the morning. Mrs F and I had gone out to watch the "Northern Lights" [beautiful!] and were sitting watching the green light dance on the ocean when aproached by a copper who gave us the impression from his questioning he thought we were either about to jointly commit suicide OR one of us was about to murder the other and dump the body, etc, etc !!!

Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

a) Invisibility - especially in a forest of Gatsos and talivans..
b) More places to store neons, spoilers and an extra woofer which will compete with a full moon?
c) Washable water resistant seat covers or a Werther's originals dispenser....

D - a wash!


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

a) M1 /A52 - sorted
b) Get as far as Watford's Halfords and hang around in a car park revving the engine and playing tunes so loudly it wakes up Ipswich....
c) Set off in the wrong directions and travel around the M25 for 8 hours ... and go home to wathch telly....

D - No: No-one ever needs to get into either of these god-foresaken places! Seriously, as an alternative to the M1, what about A41 to Hemel Hemstead, A4146 through Leighton Buzzard to Milton Keynes, A5 to Nuneaton, A444 to Burton on Trent then the A38 into Derby. Lots of nicer scenery but twice as long


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?

a) Unleaded
b) Super unleaded because your mate got a Saxo right? He says right yeah - that its worth an extra 50 bhp innit - yeah...
c) Screen wash , cat food and the bucket by the self serve pump just gotta be petrol... and the car likes its Werthers too...

D - Petrol? What's that? I fill my car with LPG @ 29.9 pence a litre from Morrisons and I get best part of 7 miles to the litre out of it or about 4 pence a mile.


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?

a) Reset trip, set off at a moderate pace
b) Light cigarette and explode away in a flurry of wheelspin that Clarkson would declare as excessive
c) Too many revs,... wild eyed panic hit reverse in a a panic and drive over the excessively priced flowers which a desparate man buys when he realises to his horror that he has forgotten a birthday....

A

Haha, it's funny because there are people out there who this applies to I think I'd change your 'mostly B' summary though, to a simple two words: 'B: chav scum'.

Of course, this is probably a controversial opinion.

(Mostly A here..)

_________________
-mike[F]
Caught in the rush of the crowd, lost in a wall of sound..

Hiya Mike!

Now why am I not surprised you are mostly A!

Long time no see? Enjoying life as an und erworked student?

Agree Mad Doc should have changed his "B" to " Chav innit?"

Anyway certain police officer reply to normal l speed on motorway is "Ooops Mr magistrate - I'm testin' me car OK - you gotta problem wi' that! It's part of me - er - normal - er job!"

Ahem (discreet cough!) - I am always "on the job" - ahem!

My car stereo? Either Classic FM, Radio 3 or our latest choir CD!

Fave in car snack - DOUGHNUTS!

On passenger seat - Empty bag of DOUGHNUTS plus SUPPLIES!

Thing which will most improve my car? ...... Have every gadget to cop naughty drivers Including flashing lights so that I can "test the car whenever I want to! (only joking Willcove! )


What was I last stopped by the police for?

Er... when we did a training exercise and I got to play the "villain" in the getaway car and they have a job to cop me! I got clean away the last time! Was back at base scoffin' me doughnuts!

_________________
Take with a chuckle or a grain of salt
Drive without COAST and it's all your own fault!

A SMILE is a curve that sets everything straight (P Diller).

A Smiley Per post
FINES USfor our COAST!

Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon - but driving with a smile and a COAST calm mind.

I can do that.....gissa job

_________________
What makes you think I'm drunk officer, have I got a fat bird with me?

Q1. How do you start your car?

a) Turn key - gently blip throttle
b) Turn key - enjoy apocalyptic noise which sound like a do biting the Bee Gees
c) you don't - these are your house keys....

Prod the heater button and watch the blue smoke whilst attempting to choke the neigbour's cat

Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually

a) 80 mph
b) 64 mph - those 22 inch wheells were a mistake
c) Motor Your road map still says "red flag area!"


60mph-any more and the tyre noise from knobblies is unbearable...
Q3 What is on your car stereo?

a) Whatever the I-Pod shufflle mode comes up with
b) Terrifying new Wave American band which gives you a nosebleed just from touching the CD case
c) Nothing - the gramophone slot - whatever - in the car will not take 78 rpm vinyls

Ministry/Slayer etc but I can't usually hear it over the tyre noise
Q4 . What is your dream car?

a) Ferrari F430 for weekends .... a Smart Fortwo for cities and a Stag for everything else (or should that be Moggie )
b) Subaru Impreza - lowered and bodykitted Exhaust so huge that bloke who sucks his tail pipe finds it is so huge and loud that it is really an artillary.... and reacts badly with organically created lentil methane....
c) Do they still make Wolseleys? No? Well a new Austin Metro will do then.....


Think I've already got it-unless I get a massive wage hike...
Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

a) You would not be seen dead in any hat...
b) One of those tight white caps which looks like you may have special needs
c) A tweed trilby....

Baseball cap to keep the sun out of my eyes with the roof off


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

a) Relaxed - slighly ben arms and querter to three...
b) A neanderthal lean - like the guy in Planet of the Apes....
c) Hunched and squinting wioth the nose pressed against the windscreen

In a river or a peat bog

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

a) On the drive - as the garage is full of car bits....for the dream car
b) Outside yuour parents' house (which is where you live and shall continue to live as it is much easier to be kept than get married and face responsibility and adulthood starts at 40 anyway....)
c) wherever irt rolls to - HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT MODERN CARS HAVE HANDBRAKES...... .


On the road-It drops mud everywhere.
Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?

a) haribo Sweet and Sour Mix ( )
b) McDonalds anything ....
c) Werthers Originals.....

Hillwalkers or ancient cyclists in lycra who shave their legs


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

a) jacket and mobile phone
b) Extremely bored looking 16 year old girl who only fancies you because you have a car... and she's got more zits than you ...
c) Reading glasses, spare trllby and pack of werther's originals.....



Mud
Q10 What is in your boot?

a) Nothing
b) bass bin of such power that the mere at of switching it on causes a seismological office to go on red alert....
c) Rug.. Daily Mail emergency supply of Wether's Originals....

Redex, spare fuel, jack,more mud and some water

Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for

a) driving at 95 mph on a deserted motorway at 3 am
b) Driving at 62 mph on a busy high street ...
c) Driving at 20 mph on the south bound carriageway of the M1 when you thought you were heading North?

Behaving suspiciously at 3am whilst covered in mud.(is there a pattern here?)


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

a) Invisibility - especially in a forest of Gatsos and talivans..
b) More places to store neons, spoilers and an extra woofer which will compete with a full moon?
c) Washable water resistant seat covers or a Werther's originals dispenser....

A jetwash inside


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

a) M1 /A52 - sorted
b) Get as far as Watford's Halfords and hang around in a car park revving the engine and playing tunes so loudly it wakes up Ipswich....
c) Set off in the wrong directions and travel around the M25 for 8 hours ... and go home to wathch telly....

On the bike-with open pipes it gives me less tinnitus than the car tyres

Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?

a) Unleaded
b) Super unleaded because your mate got a Saxo right? He says right yeah - that its worth an extra 50 bhp innit - yeah...
c) Screen wash , cat food and the bucket by the self serve pump just gotta be petrol... and the car likes its Werthers too...

Diesel


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?

a) Reset trip, set off at a moderate pace
b) Light cigarette and explode away in a flurry of wheelspin that Clarkson would declare as excessive
c) Too many revs,... wild eyed panic hit reverse in a a panic and drive over the excessively priced flowers which a desparate man buys when he realises to his horror that he has forgotten a birthday....

Over the kerb and through the hedge-just because the old fart on the pump in front is having a major crisis deciding what kind of werthers original to buy and won't move. hmmm....tube or bag? there's a discussion in itself....




Mostly A - Normal balanced driver who will not wake up on Sunday and potter off to the coast at 23 mph and accidnetally drive into the sea But don't get to comfortable as you may be one of those who think revving an engine is a bit anti-social


Mostly B You are not an OLD FARTY - but extremley young as evidenced by the amount of grease on your face and in your hair. But why are you on this site as here are no pictures of girls in scanty beach wear or less


Mostly C Oh dear you are an old farty - possibly our pet troll and your natural habitat is wherever we want to go - just in front of us and travelling at a speed so low it cannot be registered by the naked eye...You are confused by the road and by the controls of your car and are one of those who cannot fathom the off switch of the fog light. Have not seen the attractive terms of a bus pass? [/quote]

ok I resirected an old post but thought it was fun...

Q1. How do you start your car?

push it out the garage.

Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually


e) I think it did 105 18 years ago

Q3 What is on your car stereo?

e.stereo... naah.. that is not an option


Q4 . What is your dream car?

... a finished tr4

Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

full face balaclava or russian fur ear muff hat.


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

d) bum on the floor...arms streight

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

e) On the ramp above a jag.


Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?

Don't have one.


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

Er, nothing usually.


Q10 What is in your boot?

I havent got a boot yet.


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for

er... your tax disk is 18 years out of date???


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

a body shell.


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

e) have they finished the M1?


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?

a) aviation fuel!


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?

no petrol tank yet

Q1. How do you start your car?

Turn key, do everthing else (seat belt, route planning etc.) while it warms up

Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually


78.5mph

Q3 What is on your car stereo?

Either Radio 4 or my harddrive full of MP3s, mostly early 90s rave. Yes I know this is a contradiction but all the other radio stations out there are shite and I would be a much happier person if I never had to hear that twat Moyles ever again.

Q4 . What is your dream car?[/b]

Nissan Skyline R34 GT-R with the Nismo bits, or a Subaru Legacy S402.


Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

No hats. Nearly all drivers wearing hats are about to so something stupid, whether it's a chav burberry baseball cap, a flat cap or some dopey blonde on their way to the races.


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

Sit back, start at 10 - 2, gradually reducing to 6:30 by the afternoon if a lot of driving has happened on that day.

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

On the street, only option available to me.


Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?

a) haribo Sweet and Sour Mix ( )
b) McDonalds anything ....
c) Werthers Originals.....

All of the above except option c. Actually, Haribo Tangfastics are better but tend to cause ulcers.


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

Two mobiles, paperwork, laptop, McDs bags.

Also the chav answer for this question is wrong. 16 is far too old for a chav girlfriend.


Q10 What is in your boot?

Spare parts for work.


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for

94 on the A50


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

a) Invisibility - especially in a forest of Gatsos and talivans..
That or cruise control


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

Satnav is your friend. But the correct question is "You need to get from Watford to anywhere less shit than Watford" you don't need satnav for that just drive.


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?

Optimax + booster. Anything else causes detonation under acceleration and I can't afford a new ECU right now.


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?


nondescript.

Q1. How do you start your car?

Turn key

Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually

It depends on the conditions, if the traffic is flowing, it can be anything as low as 40 and as high as 120

Q3 What is on your car stereo?

Normally early 90s dance music

Q4 . What is your dream car?

Chevy Corvette Convertable or Aston Martin DB9 Convertable, the best of all worlds, comfy cruiser, outstandingly quick, good for track, drag, daily drive or posemobile. Of course, I'd rather have about 10 cars serving different purposes, but hey, the question implied one car.


Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

No hat usually, maybe my Santa Pod one if I'm on the way to a motorsport type event.


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

Relaxed, chilled out.

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

Garage, so local chavscum can't steal anything, and crap drivers can't dent it whilst manouvering. (sore subject, grrrrrrr)

Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?

That would risk a "driving without due care and attention" conviction by some arsey copper on a bonus scheme, so I wait until I arrive at my destination.

Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

Beautiful lady and future wife.


Q10 What is in your boot?

Emergency tools, including an electric gun for taking off wheel bolts quickly, set of jump leads, small subtle amplifier and a modest 10" subwoofer


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for

Driving on a deserted motorway at "in excess of 100mph"


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

Bigger turbocharger, it would complement other mods, make the car go like the clappers and the visual difference is nothing retaining its subtle show and plenty of go.


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

Depends, in the 200SX it would be M1/A52. If I was in Clare's MX5 it would be roof down and take the back roads and twistie lanes.


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?

Super unleaded to avoid detonation (therefore melted pistons) due to running higher than standard boost from the turbocharger. Also, the map on the aftermarket chip is insistant that with my modifications that I must run Super Unleaded.



Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?

Drive off, doesn't everyone else?

_________________
www.clubrwd.com - For all things rear wheel drive

Q1. How do you start your car?
a) Turn key - gently blip throttle
b) Turn key - enjoy apocalyptic noise which sound like a do biting the Bee Gees
c) you don't - these are your house keys....

Turn the key, wait for glow plug to go out start her up...


Q2. On a normal British motorway your speed is usually
a) 80 mph
b) 64 mph - those 22 inch wheells were a mistake
c) Motor Your road map still says "red flag area!"

60-85mph. maybe nudge up to a ton in the small hours (about the only time I've seen the M25 empty).


Q3 What is on your car stereo?
a) Whatever the I-Pod shufflle mode comes up with
b) Terrifying new Wave American band which gives you a nosebleed just from touching the CD case
c) Nothing - the gramophone slot - whatever - in the car will not take 78 rpm vinyls

Whatever CD's I've grabbed on the way out the door (could be anything from Genesis, Maroon5 through to classical, though Jack Dee live at the Appollo is great for long trips ditto Jasper Carrot).


Q4 . What is your dream car?
a) Ferrari F430 for weekends .... a Smart Fortwo for cities and a Stag for everything else
b) Subaru Impreza - lowered and bodykitted Exhaust so huge that bloke who sucks his tail pipe finds it is so huge and loud that it is really an artillary.... and reacts badly with organically created lentil methane....
c) Do they still make Wolseleys? No? Well a new Austin Metro will do then.....

ABLE bridgelayer minus bridge, ideal for traffic jams just shove it into low and drive over the top


Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?
a) You would not be seen dead in any hat...
b) One of those tight white caps which looks like you may have special needs
c) A tweed trilby....

None


Q6 What is your preferred driving position?
a) Relaxed - slighly ben arms and querter to three...
b) A neanderthal lean - like the guy in Planet of the Apes....
c) Hunched and squinting wioth the nose pressed against the windscreen

One hand on the wheel, the other on the gearstick


Q7 Where is your car parked at night?
a) On the drive - as the garage is full of car bits....for the dream car
b) Outside yuour parents' house (which is where you live and shall continue to live as it is much easier to be kept than get married and face responsibility and adulthood starts at 40 anyway....)
c) wherever irt rolls to - HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT MODERN CARS HAVE HANDBRAKES...... .

On the drive, as I haven't got a garage !


Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?
a) haribo Sweet and Sour Mix ( )
b) McDonalds anything ....
c) Werthers Originals.....

Sweets, Boiled, Fruit or MFP


Q9 What is on your passenger seat?
a) jacket and mobile phone
b) Extremely bored looking 16 year old girl who only fancies you because you have a car... and she's got more zits than you ...
c) Reading glasses, spare trllby and pack of werther's originals.....

a plus map of where I'm going, when g/f isn't in the car


Q10 What is in your boot?
a) Nothing
b) bass bin of such power that the mere at of switching it on causes a seismological office to go on red alert....
c) Rug.. Daily Mail emergency supply of Wether's Originals....

Jack, 'proper' wheelbrace, hardhat, boots, hi-viz jacket, other safety gumf for work


Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for
a) driving at 95 mph on a deserted motorway at 3 am
b) Driving at 62 mph on a busy high street ...
c) Driving at 20 mph on the south bound carriageway of the M1 when you thought you were heading North?

Haven't been


Q12 What single option would most improve your car?
a) Invisibility - especially in a forest of Gatsos and talivans..
b) More places to store neons, spoilers and an extra woofer which will compete with a full moon?
c) Washable water resistant seat covers or a Werther's originals dispenser....

Bug repellant


Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby
a) M1 /A52 - sorted
b) Get as far as Watford's Halfords and hang around in a car park revving the engine and playing tunes so loudly it wakes up Ipswich....
c) Set off in the wrong directions and travel around the M25 for 8 hours ... and go home to wathch telly....

a I think, check multimap


Q14 What petrol do you normally put in car?
a) Unleaded
b) Super unleaded because your mate got a Saxo right? He says right yeah - that its worth an extra 50 bhp innit - yeah...
c) Screen wash , cat food and the bucket by the self serve pump just gotta be petrol... and the car likes its Werthers too...

I think the HDi engine might get a bit upset if I did


Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?
a) Reset trip, set off at a moderate pace
b) Light cigarette and explode away in a flurry of wheelspin that Clarkson would declare as excessive
c) Too many revs,... wild eyed panic hit reverse in a a panic and drive over the excessively priced flowers which a desparate man buys when he realises to his horror that he has forgotten a birthday....

reverse out because the git in front has parked smack in the middle as he couldn't decide which pump to use

_________________
Gordon Brown saying I got the country into it's current economic mess so I'll get us out of it is the same as Bomber Harris nipping over to Dresden and offering to repair a few windows.

Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.

http://www.wildcrafts.co.uk

Q1 How do you start your car?

Check neutral. Turn the key. Get irritated at nannying seat-belt alarm because I always put it on last.

Q2 On a normal British motorway your speed is usually?

A speed appropriate to the road, weather and traffic conditions.

Q3 What is on your car stereo?

Mostly it's Radio 4, JJ Cale, or nothing.

Q4 What is your dream car?

Alpina B5 for normal road use. RCMS Impreza for fun (see this month's evo ).

Q5 While driving - what sort of hat would you wear?

I'm six foot five, I can't fit in most cars if I wear a hat.

Q6 What is your preferred driving position?

Sitting in the driver's seat.

Q7 Where is your car parked at night?

Outside my home with a networked IP camera keeping an eye on it.

Q8 What is your fave in-car snack?

I don't eat in the car. Oh OK... very occasionally a bar of chocolate or some extra strong mints...

Q9 What is on your passenger seat?

A road map. Occasionally a passenger

Q10 What is in your boot?

Nothing. (Under the boot, there's a spare wheel, jack, first aid kit, warning triangle and handheld spotlight.)

Q11 When you were last stopped by the police was it for...

I've never been stopped by the police in 18 years. Twice I've had money extracted from me by remote control.

Q12 What single option would most improve your car?

An M134 Minigun, to use against <insert own choice of worst road menace here>

Q13 You need to get from Watford to Derby

No, I dont.

Q14 What petrol do you normally put in your car?

Optimax. In my car, which has a turbo engine, the improved economy more than offsets the higher cost.

Q15 Having filled up - how do you leave the petrol station?

Annoyed about having made yet another involuntary donation to the Government.