Safe Speed Forums

I was reading the statistics from the camera partnerships the other day, I can't help feeling that the point has been missed.

The cause of serious accidents is bread! And I shall prove it with my own (shamelessy plagarised) statistics:

More than 98 percent of people involved in serious accidents are bread eaters.

Fully HALF of all drivers from bread-consuming households score below average on I.Q. tests.

In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

More than 90 percent of speeding offences are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average Briton eats more bread than that in one month!

Primitive tribal societies that have no access to bread exhibit an almost negligible occurrence of road traffic accidents.

Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, actually begged for bread after only two days.

Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

Most British bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.