greenv8s wrote:
Why should people be allowed to do anything that causes danger, if they don't need to? You don't need to go running, it is safer to walk. In fact that walk in the park is quite dangerous, you might twist your ankle or get mugged, better stay in the house. Don't put the telly on though, you might get eye strain. But you must have the radio on a tuned to the government approved safety channel so you can keep up to date on the current hazard assessments to keep you safe. Keep your heating off though. I've decided it's an unnecessary luxury and therefore none of you are allowed to use it either. It's for your own good, one day you'll thank me for it. Well actually you probably won't, but I'll still have that nice warm smug feeling of knowing that my interference is for your own good even if you all think otherwise.
Thanks for reading,
The Nanny State.
And by the way we'll be round to install the cctv to check. If you're out when we get there don't worry, we have master keys so we'll let ourselves in and have a look round while we're there. This is expensive of course so we'll be sending the bill along with the FPN and correction report. If we find any chocolate then we'll confiscate it of course. You know you're only allowed one square on a sunday.
We'll match the contents of the fridge with your bin collection day. Remember it's vegetables only except for the day before bin collection, when you may have a roast.
Now if by chance you have gone out, remember to walk, keeping to the marked area on the pavement. DO NOT under any circumstances wander into the marked area for pedestrian flow in the opposite direction. If you do this accidently please don't worry, the pavement controller will warn you from the nearest public order address system. You will be able to pay your fine at the nearest FPN ATM on the lampost.
Those who have gone to the pub, please remember that one half of shandy is the legal maximum. You will also have to enter via the nicotine detector and may be required to provide a DNA sample should the detector indicate that you have been near a cigarette in the last 43 years. You will of course then be banned from all public places. When you exit the pub you will pass through the motion analyser, which will check if there is any unsteadiness and automatically issue the FPN.
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STOP the Toll Tax
http://www.traveltax.org.uk