Safe Speed Forums

Just heard this on the radio (R2 now) - and thought it was fairly funny.

Lots of comments about signs people need to help them avoid an accident!

"WARNING ROAD: This may have moving vehicles on it!"

"WARNING -This is an aeroplane: It may leave the ground!"

And

Comic on Radio skit on old safety advert on the railways:

(Sinister Organ muzak in the background and that voice (the one the Mad Lad remembers!):

The RAILWAY! Looks like a safe place to play - doesn't it! But LOOK! There is a power station at the side of the track. You may get electrocuted retrieving your frisbee.

Or you may get run over from a passing train - and there is no speed camera to save your life!

Think! Car! It is much safer - apart from dangers from pedestrians, amber gamblers and CYCLISTS! Best stay at 'ome then!

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It just amused me! Dunno why!

Stay at home.. terribly dangerous place is the home. Socks are killers, a couple of people die each year putting them on. Time to have sock cameras

And falling down your own stairs is a major source of casualties - cause of the only serious injury I've ever suffered, despite driving over 300,000 miles

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"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed

Ban stairs!, I broke my arm in 5 places, and my cheekbone when those things attacked me!!
In the original thread, how is a cyclist a danger to a car!
Yes I know it's in humour

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'Detritus, get yer stoney arse over ere'

A policeman that fell down stairs, LOL You have to chuckle at the irony!

Max

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Tailgaters - Please Pass
You have an Accident to go to!

I'd ban step ladders as well! And the next time my wife expects me to decorate the house, and lay laminate floor coverings and a carpet - I am gonna hire someone! (Had accident with a hammer! )

As for the humour by Punt and Dennis last night ... could not resist it! Some daft lads have a kamikaze approach and aim at cars and peestrians!

Can recommend this show (Thursdays) based on last night's programme - they had a very funny sketch about a wasp squadron and their version of the Beatles' "Taxman" song was very witty and apt - even though they based it on Hitler's leadership and sang it in German accent. Perhaps they were being "politically correct" as it was obvious who they were really singing about!

Yeah yeah, honestly I did m' lord

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'Detritus, get yer stoney arse over ere'

Warning on a bottle of sleeping tablets, caution, may cause drowsiness.

On a bottle of childrens cough medicine, caution, may cause drowsiness, do not drive or operate machinery.

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Semper in excreta, nur quantitat variat.

On coffee cup at McDonalds: Warning contains hot liquid! (sadly it didn't!)

Max

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Tailgaters - Please Pass
You have an Accident to go to!

From my e-mail archives:

1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)

12. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

17. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)

20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

21. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

22. On some frozen dinners -
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -
FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine -
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nightly sleep aid -
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

All genuine apparently.

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If nothing else works, then a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.

As Woody Allen said - I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. The risk of crashing is zero if you are not there at the time. The best thing for safety is NOT to make the journey in the first place.

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I stole this .sig

The McDonalds Coffee Lawsuit is quite famous.

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I stole this .sig

Are you sure? Far more people die at home than on the roads.

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"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed

I'd be happy to debate that at www.SafeStairs.org, but this is to do with road safety.

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I stole this .sig

I'd hate to accuse you of selective quoting Basingwerk, but check out the following for the full story on the Stella Liebeck case:

http://www.stellaawards.com/stella.html

The first part is identical to the link above, but that's only half the story (and, in my opinion, has some parallels with the pro speed camera argument).

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If nothing else works, then a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.

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Fixed ideas are like cramp, for instance in the foot, yet the best remedy is to step on them.

Ian