Safe Speed Forums

Frank was tired of being clamped every time he drove into town, until he picked up this little baby on ebay.

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Only when ideology, prejudice and dogma are set aside does the truth emerge - Kepler

Hey - at least give me a credit for the idea you have developed!

http://www.safespeed.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?p=240437#p240437

We should compare mother in laws at some point!

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Wifey - "Brian"
Hubby - "Yes dear"
Wifey - "Remember that car you sold on ebay you described as totally mint but was actually a pile of rusty knackered junk?"
Hubby - "Yes dear I do, what I d*ckhe@d he was not coming to look at it, laughed my head off the price he paid, what a plonker"
Wifey - "Well the guy that bought it is at the door now, says he wants his money back"
Hubby - "Tell him to eff off"
Wifey - "Ummmmm, how about you come to the door and tell him to eff off yourself, you might want to re-phrase that when you see what he's driving!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Tone, are you using the word Volvo as a verb here?

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Well I like to think that yours was the Triumph Bonneville of the seventies but then the Japanese reliable ‘no oil leaks’ smooth 'wlll ride forever' Honda 750 four hit out shores and there was no looking back. The Japanese never apologised to GB but I'll admit you gave me an idea Gratuitous images to follow...

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Err... Mine's dead

Why's everbody always picking on me?

Sounds like a song I remember from my yoof

Is it just me who thinks the CC is morphing into something else? Come on guys, let's stick to the thread.

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

"I was a black widow before they sprayed me pink. You should have seen the mess I made of my ex husband "


Awe come on! I thought that was quite good this late in the postings

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Nice pics Tone I used to lust after a CB750 that parked along the road from us when I were a lad, never did get one, though a friend had one at one time so I did get a shot or two ... wasn't that impressed, by that time they were heavy and pretty slow in comparison to more modern stuff. Apparently Bonnevilles were better for pulling the ladies though, something to do with the vibration .... so I'm told ...

Non of my bikes were ever that clean and shiny!!

Oooops, back to the CC

Soldiers were relieved the alien machine had run out of Dilithium Crystals and come to a standstill after ripping just the one wheel from their Armoured Personnel Carrier, and were able to make good their escape on the other three wheels.

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Sing along now don't be shy ..... "There's one wheel on my wagon, but I'm still rollin along"

"Sure I know who you are Spiderman, but you still can't park that there even if you are in the middle of saving the world from complete destruction, rules is rules y'know!"

Police Officer 1 to Police Officer 2 - "Maybe if that tyre is bald we can get him on that?"

Police Officer 1 to Police Officer 2 - "To be honest I don't think shooting the tyre out will stop it!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Hard to tell from the angle, but is that the US Spec. 650 Bonny with high rise wide bars?

I learned to ride on one of those!
It had an annoying neutral between 3rd and 4th, as well as the proper neutral! I had a great deal of trouble setting off one day until I realised I was trying to set off in third!

Also, the crankcase breather tube ran around the rear mudguard on some models for some reason.
My relative's bike had a slight hole worn in the tubing just below where the passengers thigh was - which led to an embarrassing warm patch on their jeans!

I once saw one in Bill Heads showroom in Preston, and it didn't have a small pool of oil under it.
I remarked upon this to the salesman, who explained it was brand new, just been wheeled in, and didn't have any oil in it yet!

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Car sales manager - "You gave him HOW MUCH for it in a trade in???!!"

Professor Frankenstien couldn't get hold of bodies so easily anymore, so he decided to make his next creation from dead machinery instead!

Homer Simpson had been busy in his garage for days!

New Mafia protection racket - Fifty quid and they wont flick that big wheel and tyre at you, your car or shop front ... accidentally!

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Professor Jobnutz of Dream Creations said, "our device uses Quantum Physics to actually physically create things you dream of, it turns your unconsious desires into real objects, what you dream about and truly lust after is exactly what you get. We've just given Jeremy Clarkson a shot!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

"You should see the size of the one that ripped his other four legs off!"

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Volvo recon they have developed the world's safest car!! Company spokesperson and head developer for the project Hydrol Icrams said. "its a simple concept, by suspending the passenger compartment in mid air, other vehicles which would have collided can pass harmlessly underneath, and no wheels means no punctures, further enchancing safety."

Scammera Partnerships develop what they believe is the safest vehicle ever, spokesperson Ima Jiggytwot said, "as this vehicle cannot exceed any speed limits ever, given 100% adoption it will definitely mean no more people will ever be injured on our roads. Even If it only saves the life of one child, we believe everyone should be forced to drive one of these."

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Some people have a phobia about spiders, some about going outside, some about heights .... Plant operator Ivan has a phobia about wheels and is dealing with it in his own way!

Inventor Prof Pistonbroke has a theory about vehicles security ... instead of making them difficult to steal, just make them really dificult to drive!

Heavy tunneling equipment arrives on site, main contractor BillyBob Bucket & Son expect to start tunnelling operations tomorrow and break through into USA soil in about 3 weeks, completing the first Trans Atlantic Tunnel!!

..... I think I might be scraping the bottom of the bucket now

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

I ordered a Pink CADILLAC, not CRABILLAC!

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Only when ideology, prejudice and dogma are set aside does the truth emerge - Kepler

"Hey, at least if I park this and it floods, the carpet and seats are not going to get wet like all the hatchbacks parked behind me!"

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Mad Jock Mc Tavish, famous for saying..

"See if youse lot don't get these piles o junk oot o ma curlin pond afore the season starts .... there's gonna be BIIIIG trouble" ...

Has now bought the ultimate curlin pond cleaning machine.

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Buttering up the judge by including one of his own captions from previous CC is a good idea but might work a lot better accompanied by a fatish brown envelope dropping through judges letterbox in the very near future

Made me laugh though, good one

When MI6 asked Q to build a powerful CRAB for James Bond, they took it for granted that he knew CRAB was an acronym for Car Radio Activated Bomb!

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Now that's certainly a statement of urban decay .(With apologies to an oft repeated episode of heartbeat)

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lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on