Safe Speed Forums

Police officer at scene of RTA taking statement from driver with damaged truck .....

PO - "Now sir let me get this straight, the vehicle that hit you was pink, had no wheels, had four huge hydralic arms with buckets on the end, moved like a crab, and also nicked your spare wheel, is that correct?"

Driver - "Yes that about right"

PO - "In that case sir, could you blow into this tube for me please!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Plant operator required, excellent pay and conditions, candidates with Arachnophobia need not apply!

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

"British version of RoboCop unveiled at Earls Court"

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Head design consultant Richard Brunstrom

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

"Nah, nah, nah, this is how it works. My bruv heard on the radio that they are gonna start making signs for potholes now....sooo he bungs all of his redundancy money bar 500 quid, into a sign making company, then goes out and buys that monstrosity, for me to drive around the streets after dark, dunnee!"

"this time next year, Trigger."

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"The Mrs is always complaining the earth never moves for her, wait'll she gets a load o this baby, I'll give her earth moving!"

"Yeah those sunglasses sure are cool, but you maybe should have taken them off while you re-built that tractor!""

"When you said you were developing your forearms I thought you were pumping iron at the gym!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Tone: “Hello, is that the police?”

PC Higgins: “Yes, how may I help?”

Tone: “Someone stole the caption comp image from our forum"

PC Higgins: “Hmm.. I see from our records that Grabs has a criminal track record for these things. He’s done it on Pepipoo, Pistonheads and is currently wanted under suspicion for adding a rude one on Brake”.

Tone: “I just knew he had something to do with it! (Allegedly) ”

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Damn, I just knew you would guess it was me. I was going to slip a new piccy on un-noticed that i could find something funny to write a caption for and then win.....Drat !

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

I can clear up the missing picture mystery...


That is probably our fault! We should have re-hosted the picture on another server!

So here you are....



"David Copperfield's new act has Russian digger disappear as part of his new act!"

or

"Harry Potter shows his Hogwarts chums how his cloak of invisibility can hide the crablike creature which Snape had sent to intimidate them!"

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Can you clear up where/who/why this came up in Grabs reply to my post Ernest? The one just before yours above? In his quote of me it says: -

* Report this post
* Reply with quote

Re: Caption Competition 11

New postby Big Tone on Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:34 pm

I ask because I don’t think Grabs made that up and I've seen that once before on one of my posts, in that same format, and wondered if I'd said something or offended someone, or some group?

Is it some automaticically generated response or something included in someone's post somehow? If it didn’t come from Grabs, then why/where/who did that come from Ah, I think I know...

"Ernest covers for Grabs in a last ditch attempt to save him from being prosecuted for stealing images on forums"

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Oh, I see what you mean there, now, Tone.
It probably was me, when I quote, I copy and paste but obviously forgot to cut out the cr@@, sorry I'm totally computer illiterate (thick too cos I can't spell illiterate...lol)

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

After several months of emails to his potential Russian bride, Deperate Dave finally gets a photograph of his beloved Digma Trenchski.

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

RoboCop's mother in law

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Now you mention it, it does look like my sister in law when her uncle died without leaving a will....

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

If you are going to take a dig at something, always best to do it thoroughly & in every direction!

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Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

Alien invaders were worried when they found a round black thing lying on the planet surface, and realised Earthling defence vehicles might be faster and much more manouverable than their RoboCrabs.

Photoshoot in progress for Joni Mitchel's follow up to her hit song "Big Yellow Taxi", the new song is called "Big Pink Taxi Crab". Sample of the lyrics ..........
"Late last night
I heard the screen door slam
And a big pink taxi crab
Come and took away my old man
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
‘Til it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot"

Restaurant owner on phone to seafood supply company .... "Yes I did say send me the biggest crab you can find, but this isn't really what I had in mind!!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Machine operator (wearing a face mask, stripey top, carrying a bag marked swag) to passer by .... "scuse' me mate can you tell me where the nearest cash machine is?"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

And to this day the inventor and MD of diggers-r-us doesn’t really understand why his business never took off.

When criticized over the aesthetics of his machines he said "What's wrong with them? You should have seen the prototype".

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Spiderman was disappointed the local council had outlawed use of his newly developed Cyborg Spider machine to aid his crime fighting efforts. Council spokesman Ted "Filma" Pockets said, "yes it is unfortunate, but it would cost the taxpayer a small fortune in the erection of new pothole signs. Perhaps once my brother has his new signmaking company up and running we could re-visit this and a reversal of the decision might be possible!! "

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

You weren't the one who came with the names for the Captain Pugwash series were you by any chance Zipps?

Master Bates. Roger the Seaman

How they ever got away with it I'll never know.

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.