Safe Speed Forums

Over to you - I hope it is enough to inspire you all, and if it looks like drying up I'll judge it right away!

I'll start you off (a bit unfair I know, as you haven't seen it yet, but it IS my picture) with:

"If that's peacock blue, then I'm a Barbary Duck!"

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

"If thats a a Skoda, I'm Donald (Duck)"

_________________
lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

"who do you think you are looking at, you ugly B@@@@@..."

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"I'm bound to find an unlocked one to nick soon."

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"Now then, where did I put my key?"

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"Oh yes I love my car, mirrors all over it, handle just at the right height, superb for keeping dry and warm ... but I do wish I didn't have to keep picking the lock!"
"What's that you say ... Key, Oh No, the Mrs ran off with it, claimed I can't drive ! The cheek of it ! Still at least I just get chauffeured around everywhere !


"Who you calling a turkey mate!"

"Yes it's even in my colour!"

"I think it'll do, not sure who that is but he's not aggressive so that's OK then. Can't stand aggressive, proud annoying drivers!" [assumes the reflection is the driver].

"If you don't move away from my parking space I'm going to peck and peck!"

_________________
Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

I said I wanted a Pee cock

Latest offer from Kia. Now a 10 year warrantee plus a free Peacock.

George: “I can’t get out just yet dear, there’s a big cock outside the door”
Hilda: “Well I wish there was one in here, I’m gagging for it!”

A few minutes later...

Tony: “Hi Hilda, I got your text. I’ll be right over...”

Hilda: “There’s a weird bird outside gawping at me”.
George: “You didn’t tell me the mother in law was coming over”.

_________________
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

SCPs are employing undercover operatives to try and identify drivers of vehicles caught speeding, where the picture was inconclusive.
However, it turned out the idea was as birdbrained as their claim to improve safety!

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

He's so vain,
he probably thinks this Sangyong is about him

_________________
Driving fast is for a particular time and place, I can do it I just only do it occasionally because I am a gentleman.
- James May

"Right - on the count of three, we open out our tails, and the one with biggest one gets to drive!"

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Peacock..."What am I doing here?...well i heard two blokes down the pub talking and they said this was a typical birds car."

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"Looks like a Golf". Or -"Thought golf was played on a green thingy"

_________________
lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

Percy put in an appearance because he misheard the drivers conversation.
He thought they said "Tail Mating" - which of course Percy excelled at!

"Yeah, it's only a scratch - T-cut will soon get that out!"

"It looks OK - if it is as fast as you say, I'll give you a bucket of sunflower seed for it!"

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Eric: "Hun, I've been reading the latest email on my smart phone while I've been waiting for you to park for the past two hours my love*, and I need to come up with something on the caption comp on Safe Speed but I can't think of anything".

Ezmerelda: "What about there's a bird brain outside with in IQ less than the one sitting next to me you nob head?"

Eric thinks: "Ah - I just remembered what I wanted to talk about - divorce! When I saw a woman the other day in a long elegant dress I reaslised I always wanted to see you, my lovely wife, in something long and flowing - so I thought of throwing you in river!"



(Yeah, I know I keep coming up with the old ones)


* Please don't ban me; I'm trying my best!

_________________
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

"What a horrible colour, I'm glad I'm not anything like that colour."

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"Hey look I'm wasting away, I can only see my white bits in this mirror."

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"Does my bum look big in this?" "No, that's your tail. The curved panels actually make it look smaller!"

or

"Is that a metallic finish? I heard they look awful after a couple of years in the sun!"

or

"What a bunch of cowboys - the base coat should have had at least TWO coats of primer on first!"

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

"See when I get my tail out from under this door ..... "

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Now boys and girls, for the reason they were called Peacocks and not Carrotcocks, look underneath .... now what don't you see?

Weellllll .... its late .... I've had a 'day' .... and I haven't had a drink .... yet

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)