Safe Speed Forums

Unfortunately my mother has recently passed away This leaves me with the problem of disposing of the contents of her house. There are some obvious things – mostly books – that I will take, but I simply don't have the space to accommodate everything that may have some meaning to me.

For example, there are a couple of large pictures that have some sentimental value but would be worthless to anyone else. There's a whole cupboard full of transparencies that my Dad took but which probably haven't been looked at for ten or fifteen years. And a whole box full of guidebooks to various castles and stately homes that we visited when I was small. Plus a magnificent wooden model of Drake's Golden Hind which my Dad built in the 1950s.

Obviously I will need to be somewhat ruthless – give what I can to charity shops and ultimately pay for someone to come and clear out the remainder. But it’s still a difficult process and I will inevitably end up with some stuff that I don’t really need but which I can't bear to part with. It's made more difficult because I am thirty miles away and so can't just casually pop round to spend an hour or so sorting stuff out.

Has anyone been through this process before and have any advice to offer?

_________________
"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed

Sorry to hear of your loss, Peter.

Unfortunately I am the worst person in the world to give advice on disposal of anything, as I tend to hoard all sorts of things that will never get used or looked at but I would have thought the best thing to do, (if possible) is to try and store it for a few weeks until you have a clearer mind as to what you really want to keep and what you want to dispose of.

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Also so sorry to hear of this loss . I had this a few years ago , and after my wife's experience with her late mother, where all the family photos were destroyed ,I kept as much of the history as I could. Like graball, I am also the worst person to offer advice ,so other than the advice to keep anything ( if possible of family records/history etc ) and donateanything you can't store /use to either a charity store or see if locally there's an organisation that takes furniture and recycles it for benefit claimants .( Recycling yard might be source of information). I found that my parents furniture though of decent quality was too old to be considered for re use .

_________________
lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

This may be a problem - my parents bought the house new in 1951 and got some very solid wooden furniture which unfortunately is totally unfashionable now, but probably will be valuable in 50 years' time.

_________________
"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed

Condolences to you Peter. My mother in law has recently moved into a residential home, and we have had to sort things out while she was still around - she kept changing her mind as to what she wanted to keep and who should have what.

Can you not spend a weekend at the house to sort through it? You need to get things right or you might regret it later.

I have a friend who bought a house containing some old furnishings - he put it all on ebay, and it was purchased by a film props company... including a 1970 fitted kitchen!
Something he was going to take to the tip raised £300.

If you are not wishing to keep it, or pass it on to a relative, the Golden Hind might sell on ebay too.

British Heart Foundation are a good start - they take some furniture and electricals.
Blankets, clothes etc can be used by a group called International Aid - see if they have a depot near you.

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Sadly ,Peter, my parent's choice of furiture though deemed solid and suitable , was of no use to the chavs who look for stuff on the council reclaim sites.

_________________
lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

Sorry to hear it Peter.

This was something which affected me deeply when I lost my brother back in 2004. At the time I was living in a small bedsit type of thing I was renting, long story, and had no space at all. One of the worst things for me was the motorbike he loved and held onto from his healthier days, in the early 80s, knowing full well he would never, ever, be able to ride it again.

I remember I once suggested he get rid of it, like the idiot I was, without realising it was so much more than just a motorbike but a link to who he was; the man he used to be. So, between me and my sister, rather than see it go to a stranger and make some money we gave it to a friend he knew and liked instead, who still has it to this day. There were many other items, some of which I still have yet to go through, but they are small. He also had many slides which bring back memories and stir all sorts of emotions.

I don’t envy your situation Peter but I think the sentimental things, which are often quite small, are most precious. So I would hang on to them of course and as for the other larger items, I would let them go to the needy as you suggest . When my mother died I was married and living away from the home she and my sister lived in. So she very much had the burden, if I can call it that, of going through her belongings.

What I think we had in common is that it’s a slow process. The desire to hold on to as much as one can is overwhelming, but as years go by it becomes easier to ‘let go’. That’s not to say their memory is dying but I think you become rather more practical about your own situation and the greatest thing to hold onto which can never be erased is your memories.

Take care

Tony

_________________
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Having lost both sets of parents in the last two or so years, we've been through this.

My advice:

Find all stuff that you REALLY want to keep for sentimental reasons.

Check carefully for items of real value - remember collectables can fetch good money - a simple example might be old fishing kit - split cane stuff fetches good money if high quality and you never know if that old piece of jewelry is a faberge item no-one has been aware of!

Having removed such things we adopted two approaches - the one liked best was contacting a local charity and inviting them to come and take anything they wanted - this disposed of most of my dad's furniture - whats left you can pay a house clearer to take. With my wife's parents house we did check, take portable worthless to the tip (nearby), followed by inviting relatives and friends to help themselves and then a house clearer.

_________________
I won't slave for beggar's pay,
likewise gold and jewels,
but I would slave to learn the way
to sink your ship of fools

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Personally I'd think about paying for some storage in the short term so you can clear the house but not feel like you're rushing into getting rid of things you may prefer to keep.

If the furniture is original 1950s then a museum might be interested as I'm sure there are a couple around with 'how we lived then' kind of things.

It's a long weekend this weekend so I'd be tempted to get stuck in and pull out all the obvious things to throw away and also take any valuables out of the house as there are some scumbags that target houses of the deceased and take things.

It's also worth talking to local auction houses and see what they think and whether they could take a lot of the bigger items and put them through the auction.

Freecycle is also a good way of getting rid of usable items.

As i mentioned above -my parents furniture was 50's . I took some to the recycling / re use site to find that the likes of "Second chance" didn't want it as the sort of clientele were after MFI style stuff . A lot of the likes of kitchen stuff found good homes ( as did the dining table & chairs). Both my sons had recently set up home ,and I'd imagine my father would prefer they got it rather than Wayne & Waynetta so I hired a van . But photos etc - keep and slowly go through them . I've had a cousin find that one of my mothers photos had her dad in it .She had lost all the ones she had .

_________________
lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

As you know I had to deal with my mothers place (massive issues) and my parent;s in common law place too.
I know the heartbreak it can cause and I really sympathise but I have lots of good news for you.

1) Freecycle - join all the local groups to you - you will be utterly amazed how delighted people are to take all (& I mean ALL) of you stuff. You 'Offer' or 'want' items. Some linked 'online cafe's' will offer bartering and other arrangements/help.
2) keep everything you think you want to 'think about' no matter even if you have to store it for a bit - even just for your emotions it will help.
(I have a lot of space in Scot but we can talk about it elsewhere)
3) auctions will often sell everything and of course ebay /gumtree are obvious direct routes but your local auctions will help all they can or should if they are any good !
4) house clearance places but they pay nothing and de-value everything.
5) many people love 'real furniture' and will buy if a fair price - advertise in your local paper.
6) perhaps put some into storage near to you, to help sort things out/ sell from, or just keep (for a while?). Some storage companies offer really good deals at the moment ... check into it.
7) perhaps change some of your items for those that have more sentimental value ...
8) for specialist things like the wonderful sounding ship - look online and find the clubs or where collectors meet and advertise it there. Local clubs took various items we had and although they didn't pay much, but we had the knowledge that they really valued the items and loved that we thought of them. Like me they could see the value in the items.
9) Some museums will take a few things but it is a bit harder if the items are 'popular' or not rare, as they get offered so much, but it can encourage you to hang onto them until they have an exhibit where they can then use it and pay you to have it on show !
10) photos - keep them - they can all be transferred onto more modern mediums. Plus you will probably find some treasures in there .. then you can offer it to the National Archive Museum/Centre as they always look for images of times past. Give them as much data as you can about the images - take your time if you need to ..
There are usually collectors / small museums somewhere in the Country !

_________________
Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

A local hospice has quite an operation in furniture reclamation, so today they came to clear out all the potentially saleable stuff.

I've given a lot of books, ornaments, pictures etc. to charity shops.

There are a few things I will try to sell on eBay because I think they may have significant value, but to be honest messing about with trying to sell things is not something I really want to be doing at present, and I'm not looking to make money from the exercise.

I've kept all the things of sentimental value, but ultimately will have to look at putting some of it into storage.

I'll have to get a house clearer in to remove the remaining mostly worthless stuff, including a lot of junk in the garage.

There's a box of commemorative coins which nobody seems interested in as they're post-1947.

_________________
"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed

It is a gut wrenching process and my heart goes out to you. It's just an awful thing to go through. Even Paul's parents who had surprisingly little 'personal stuff' it was still hard! I hope to clear out a lot more of my things that I don't really use ...and I hate the thought never mind the reality when it comes to it !
It is so tough as it's all so heartbreaking.
Just remember that "you must always do what you think is right" - that's what Paul told me, and it's held true for everything I do! Sometimes those decisions are really tough.

_________________
Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

And never overlook the family ones as i said. I posted one of my Grandad & an uncle on a fishing boat on a fishing site to let others who knew my grandad ( well known in northern fishing circles) see a rare one of him . Shortly afterward I got a message from a cousin asking about the photo,and could she have a copy .My uncle was her dad and she had few like that . If they're family ones, that might interest family -post on something like photobucket (create a seperate account and give relatives the guest log on/user name. ( With guest log on ,they can view but not change /edit the account).
As I said before, you have my sympathies .Even though it was a few years ago , I've still got sad memories of having to empty my dads old place ,and consign some of his posessions to the heap.

_________________
lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

Peter.

My sincerest condolences on your loss. Along with the others I would advice that you keep anything connected with family history as it might be of interest to your progeny.
As for the furniture there are charities which will accept virtually any sound furniture (other than soft furnishings without fire certificates). One that is reasonably local to Stockport is the Glossopdale Furniture project http://www.glossopdalefurnitureproject.co.uk/. I have given them furniture and then will come and collect it.

_________________
When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
When I see a youth in a motor car I do d.c.brown

Yes, I've kept boxes full of old photos and other mementoes - although finding somewhere to store them might be a problem


The house is actually in Runcorn, but a local hospice there does a similar thing.

I've done the final clearout of junk and unsaleable furnishings this morning, and the house will be going on the market next week.

So if anyone wants to buy a well-built, spacious, 3-bedroom semi-detached house in Runcorn, you know where to look.

Ironically, transplant the house to any reasonable neighbourhood in Stockport and it would be worth at least half as much again.

_________________
"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed

Well, within a week of the house going online, I've received and accepted an offer within £3k of the asking price, so that's good progress.

http://www.michaeladams.co.uk/viewproperty.aspx?adid=2939315

_________________
"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed

That's excellent news. It is so hard to get that far and good that it is happened quickly. Nice looking place - a lot for the asking price too !

_________________
Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

God going,PETER - ,in my case,ii'd no houise to get rid of, but an awful lot of memories to remove. I know how you feel and can sympatise .

_________________
lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

There's also the Furniture Re-use Network: http://www.frn.org.uk/