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PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 20:54 
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http://uk.news.yahoo.com/14022007/140/u ... lfare.html


UK 'Worst Place For Child Welfare'
Sky News Wednesday February 14, 06:57 AM


The UK is the worst place in the entire developed world for a child to grow up. According to the UN, Britain has the unhappiest, poorest, unhealthiest and most neglected children of the world's 21 richest nations.

A report shows the UK languishing at the bottom of 40 different indicators for child welfare.

The news will come as a big blow to the Government, which has made halving child poverty by 2010 one of its key goals.

The Unicef report, which the children's charity releases
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later today, says the UK lags behind in terms of relative poverty and deprivation.

Britain also fares poorly when it comes to the quality of children's relationships with their parents and peers, child health and safety, behaviour and risk-taking and young people's own sense of wellbeing.

The country rated higher for educational wellbeing but languished in the bottom third for each of the other measures, giving it an overall placing at the bottom of all 21 countries, along with the US.

The assessment, titled Report Card 7, Child Poverty in Perspective: An Overview of Child Wellbeing in Rich Countries, is the first study of childhood across industrialised countries, Unicef said.

North European countries dominated the top half of the table, with child wellbeing at its highest in the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark and Finland.

Unicef UK executive director David Bull said: "All countries have weaknesses that need to be addressed and no country features in the top third of the rankings for all six dimensions.

"By comparing the performance of countries we see what is possible with a commitment to supporting every child to fulfil his or her full potential."



Thoughts?

This is unicef, not the daily mail.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 20:56 
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oops, move this to general chat pleeze.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 21:12 
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hairyben wrote:
oops, move this to general chat pleeze.


Done. No problem.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 23:51 
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Dunno, we just don't seem to like kids here in the way the continentals (particularly the Southern Mediterranean countries) do. We used to send them down the mines, up chimneys and into mills a hundred or so years ago so we're getting better though!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 01:04 
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To me, the UNICEF report simply highlights the difference between the European model of society against the American one which we here in Britain have adopted..


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 21:44 
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It's a cauldron .. of a long hours culture.. making up for the deficit in contact time with expensive designer wot-nots.. :rolleyes: on the one hand .. and chav society on the other... with drug abuse and the selfish ME ME ME ME brigade in the overall "melange".

OK.. me and Wildy are by no means "perfect" .. but as with everything else.. when we "screw up".. we sit down and try to work out what went wrong and then try to chalk to experience, learn and move on.. to the next little challenge.

I think we have got "better" since our first child .. and the twins. You all know .. we had one huge setback when Wildy fell victim to a non-fault very serious and I was seriously facing bringing up the first three as a lone Papa. At the time .. I was still completing some of my professional exams in my particular specialism.. so it was rather traumatic and I made some mistakes with our eldest three at the time - like leaving their car to my sisters, mum, mama-in-law and the many other Swiss in-laws - including IG and his wife who were extremely supportive at the time.. . I think both me and Wildy missed out on some early bonding curves there.. and I know I missed some of the real gems toddlers do ... which I saw at second hand via videos of them. But.. I was faced with a vigil with my wife .. and my essential exams. I had the full support of a large family and I felt a bit jealous of them to be honest. They had the bond with our eldest three as toddlers - which prevails today.


But .. when the trauma was over and we took over the reins again.. I think it made us closer and we valued our family a lot more than previously.. and we were on close terms before all that as well. It just made us even tighter as a unit .. I suppose.

So .. what did we learn?

Well .. we have always sat down to an evening meal at a laid table. We have always cooked together.. with the kids laying the table or just helping chop and prepare some of the family food with us. We include all fostered kids in this as well .. insist they join in :wink:

No television.. no radio allowed .. but I do have some low playing classical music in the background to our evening meals. We use this time to chat to our kids.

I play with them.. encourage them to make things .. models.. play with Scalextrric :D :D , make up Airfix models, Meccano. and so on. I sit with them and help. Old fashioned toys.. much better than playing mindlessly with a computer.. though they do have these as well. :wink: for variation and both Wildy and self will spend time playing with them on these.

We go for bike rides, walks together .. as a family unit.

So .. I think not so much cash as TIME we spend .. and this TIME has to be balanced with work as well. When I am chatting on this site.. I am only yards away from the kids - who are engaged in homework . and occasionally ask me the odd question and I give the helpful guider pointer only as they have to learn and make the mistakes as well if they are to learn more.

But it's a thin line .. and I do think the best quality time lies in ensuring that the evening meal at least is spent at table together.. and weekend .. well .. :wink: in this household.. more a trip to the farmer's market and local shops - followed by a walk on the fells or a bike ride in the local lanes together. Or some fun learning about speed by watching us on a track day.. or taking the kids on a go-karting expedition . .. just so that we can get some speedy fun too :wink:

But.. in a society of the ME ME ME .. singleton myopic outlook... political correctness and mistaking "stifling" with "caring" .. we seem to be in danger of denying a true childhood to our children as a whole.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 22:55 
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Mogster, I don't envy anyone bringing kids up in todays Britain I really don't. Life is so much more complicated than it was when we brought my two up in the late 80s and early 90s. Mortgages, choosing the best schools, worries about drugs and bullying - what a nightmare.
Admittedly some decisions were easier to take for us, as a young RAF corporal we lived in a service provided housing which was comparatively cheap and my wife made the decision to suspend work until the kids were at primary school; a decision that was extended by a tour in Cyprus so she only returned to work when the youngest was 9. Not such an easy decision when paying ones mortgage depends upon two wages (although I do think some could compromise on their pre-kid luxuries a little more than they seem prepared to).
I wonder how some of my colleagues cope, the phone rings and its the wife at work or the school saying Tommy has just puked up and needs to be collected, so one of them has to drop everything and go home.
I also think we've elevated the status of the child a little too highly in our society as well; I would never have thought of consulting my young kids before accepting a posting even if I had the choice to. When continental families take their kids to a restaurant, they don't run amok squeeling around the place which many let their kids do here. No wonder some folks without kids resent this intrusion.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 23:49 
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Hiya Riggers


Rigpig wrote:
Mogster, I don't envy anyone bringing kids up in todays Britain I really don't. Life is so much more complicated than it was when we brought my two up in the late 80s and early 90s.



I think having small kids and a succession of fosters (short) PLUS two long term ( the services and ourselves agreed that the current two long term placements with us would benefit those kids.. who do challenge. I think I did mention the older of them had a rather nasty history of drink and TWOCing cars .. which we have reined in .. but it takes effort .. and I will freely admit I did want to thump him more than once .. It has been .. still is a challenge.. but I think we make some progress. My twins are of the same age as him.. they help... by taking him out with them.. introducing to their set of pals.. and I have to conclude by visual evidence and observation that the right kind of peer pressure .. which is enforced by firm parental controls .. does help these kids. All they need is a firm set of parameters really.

Why do we foster? I suppose we love youngsters and we just feel we should help as much as we can and are able to.

Quote:

Mortgages, choosing the best schools, worries about drugs and bullying - what a nightmare.



Well.. no mortgage now ... thank GOD! I chose a school which I think instils discipline into our own kids. I send our adopted children to the same school as our own "produce of our marriage" :wink: .. but the fosters.. I have to send to schools as chosen by the "authority". Both me and Wildy help with homework.. liaise with the teachers and - longor short term stay with us.. we treat them the same as we do with our own children. I think all those placed with us enjoyed living with us as they always send us birthday and Christmas cards - plus the odd progress letter - unless with us for a fortnight as a baby/toddler .. and these are mostly if parent was in hospital or needed a break from caring for a toddler and elderly dependent.

But .. as said .. this is a large family and whilst me and Wildy have demanding jobs.. we also have almost one young adult - and almost adult children who are 100% reliable and we also think our fostering enhances their development to adulthood as well.

Quote:
Admittedly some decisions were easier to take for us, as a young RAF corporal we lived in a service provided housing which was comparatively cheap and my wife made the decision to suspend work until the kids were at primary school; a decision that was extended by a tour in Cyprus so she only returned to work when the youngest was 9. Not such an easy decision when paying ones mortgage depends upon two wages (although I do think some could compromise on their pre-kid luxuries a little more than they seem prepared to).


Riggers ... I think we have to make choices. I may run a Jag.. but it;s an estate family version. My wife is allowed to indulge herself given the past. :lol: But.. I also have a :yikes: People carrier .. which is slowww but steady. Now fairly middle aged in car terms .. it's a four year old now.. but still "feisty and sturdy" for us. I bought as a five month old at auction .. which save me a fair amount of cash :wink: I will buy another in the same way as and when I need to ..


Quote:
I wonder how some of my colleagues cope, the phone rings and its the wife at work or the school saying Tommy has just puked up and needs to be collected, so one of them has to drop everything and go home.
I also think we've elevated the status of the child a little too highly in our society as well; I would never have thought of consulting my young kids before accepting a posting even if I had the choice to.


Riggers .. I think some think of kids as "adults" instead of children. I will take on the concerns of my kids above age 12 .. but I do not think my younger kids .. bright as Lukas, Andrew and little Racheal are.. have as yet the intellectual development to dictate.. but I will listen and usually rule contrary to their liking :lol: . and have a periodic "sulk" over it .. which passes :wink:



Quote:
When continental families take their kids to a restaurant, they don't run amok squeeling around the place which many let their kids do here. No wonder some folks without kids resent this intrusion.


Ahhh.. discipline. :wink:

I think me and Wildy made it very plain to our kids that we expect self discipline and polite behaviour.

I think the fact we insist always on a sit down at table meal together.. complete with wine and Elderflower presse or Ame herbal or water in a proper carafe on weekday meals seems to instil some kind of discipline in the ranks. I do relate to my own upbringing and my wife to hers .. and it is a bit of a blended "culture" in reality.


Plus some guidance as to how to talk at table without intruding on another's enjoyment. :wink:

But. .. perhaps culture, discipline, respect, self respect and love of family life may be a part of this elusive equation.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 06:38 
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When we have a Government that incentivises Mothers to ditch their partners and go it alone, is it any wonder that the standard of childrens' upbringing is so bad? A lot of single mums do put a lot of effort in to raising their kids, but two heads are better than one - end of.

As a bonus, we get a housing market which is spiralling out of control because there aren't enough abodes for all these ousted partners to move in to.

It's a very sorry state of affairs. THe Conservatives tried to push "family values" and they got burned. After this, there is no way that Labour will ever approach the subject.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 01:57 
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There really are a myriad of .."mistakes" made in the past aren't there? usually down to someone trying to reduce Government expenditure...


I'd like to put forward these:

The ending of the "married tax allowance" which instantly made it more beneficial to either co-habit....or live separately, rather than be married. Even BETTER to have a child and claim a single parents allowance!.....especially in an era of no jobs!

The ending of "mortgage tax relief" for married couples.....


In short........Those who did "the right thing" were penalised by paying undue amounts of tax whilst those that didn't were subsidised to have more childen......

Surely...these two things were a very bad way of pointing society towards the future?....


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 13:50 
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My wife and I think much the same thing Draco. We think the married allowance should go a little further and allow the tax allowance to be pooled which would benefit couples with one spouse not working.

We do not have kids and both work so it would not benefit us btw.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 00:52 
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toltec wrote:
My wife and I think much the same thing Draco. We think the married allowance should go a little further and allow the tax allowance to be pooled which would benefit couples with one spouse not working.

We do not have kids and both work so it would not benefit us btw.


If the Chancer was to be honest - both allowances would be pooled and shared out. ( so total allownce = 2x 4+k .mum is at home , so dad gets lot. If mum works ,then she gets her share.)
But what is not given out is that mum gets credited with pension / etc till oldest kid is 16


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 00:54 
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Ach.. far too many girls in this country see babies as means to end of housing.. benefits und so on.

Only.. for 16 years as current .. ist drudgery.. Then at age 32 .. they und their now 16 year melancholy child .. repeat this cycle .. :roll:

Perhaps a sign that edukayshun fail the less academically minded und that perhaps again.. we should be channelling these to a more meaningful skill building education .. which ist what we have back home.. und there has never been academic snobbery either.. another disease only known to the British..

Und I can say this as someone from abroad looking in on this society.. having experienced a different culture :wink: :P

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 01:10 
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YEP - TELL ME --

youngest kid. OK- got things in wrong order - got bed and wed wrong way round, TWICE .But then , he's also had to bury a son (still born) due to NHS cock up.
Partner kicked him out last year , to bring in bloke. Since then , he's had kids on and off at times - now i'm playing host to kids -licky i can make the room.
He has no legal rights to kids ( yeh thanks Tiny),till he gets legal aid and a court decides what is what - only then is he home less and he can aply to council for help .
Til then - yep thanks tiny - i provide , and we look aafter them .

And that is the UK Welfare State, in a nutshell.(unless some of you guys can suggest a quick way to solve this problem ) ---where two old folks are going mad - coz grandkids are out of controll, as mother has letthem run riot , and now dad has to be bad guy., but thrse kids are ours and we MUST home them .


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 10:10 
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botach wrote:
toltec wrote:
My wife and I think much the same thing Draco. We think the married allowance should go a little further and allow the tax allowance to be pooled which would benefit couples with one spouse not working.

We do not have kids and both work so it would not benefit us btw.


If the Chancer was to be honest - both allowances would be pooled and shared out. ( so total allownce = 2x 4+k .mum is at home , so dad gets lot. If mum works ,then she gets her share.)
But what is not given out is that mum gets credited with pension / etc till oldest kid is 16


It should perhaps go further than that - add in allowances for dependents such as children too - then we wouldn't need the massively complicated CTC and the incentive to work would be much higher than the incentive to stay at home on benefits.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 21:58 
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Then again - child welfare in UK.

mY YOUNGEST lad is now at home - complete with two kids - Partner has decided that she wants to be alone with BF, and kids are a luxury. Fortunately we have room - so can give home to G kids and son. Local homeless act is wortheless as he does not have parential responsibility on both. Til then they stay here - restless and un ruly as son starts to get some sort of disipline in place,and both are suffering from stress.
Thanks very much Tony - son has first to get Legal aid, then custody order.(In meantime - we get used to screaming kids etc etc)There is a limit to how much you can put up with from grandkids - the days of screaming kids seems like iiiiiiin the past.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 03:38 
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This post has made me think.....


I'm OK, my employment is secure and I have no worries......but the journey there was long and hard. I was recently given the "beanshaker" gesture by a young "Citizen Smith" type character as I passed by him in my car in a N.E. town.......Oh! If he only knew!


He'd done it because of my car.


Now I began work for £5 per week......and it's taken me a lifetime to reach the standard I have now. I'm STILL not rich, comfortable .....well maybe. As comfortable as a lowly "employed" man can ever be (pension permitting). Many people are "bought" my car, as a 21st birthday present by: Daddy!
Still: I feel sorry for these youths. What is in front of them? What hope do they have in the North of England, in the 4th richest nation on Earth?

Very little in my opinion, I would, If I were them either find a way to work for myself or.........leave!

For them, it can't get much worse....

better take the risk and go!..

The Government entered with: "Things can only get better!"....

Yeah right!........If you go elsewhere! :roll:

Let's face it, "British" means...............POOR!


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