Safe Speed Forums

Must be a slow news day...


I admit to having some pre-conceptions about Mr Claus, but I never thought him as a wanton speeder!

I suspect sour grapes from these folks from Monash coz they never got prezzies from him


Didn't run anyone over either

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Views expressed are personal opinions and are not necessarily shared by the Safe Speed campaign

[url]http://www.nollaig.com/scientific%20santa.html /url]

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When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
When I see a youth in a motor car I do d.c.brown

Interesting, but far too complex, he simply uses effects similar to that in quantum mechanics described by the Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment and quantum superposition.
By using superposition all presents are delivered at the same time[*], observer effects ensure that the presents are the correct ones[*][*] and only exist when there is someone to see them.

[*] By this I do not mean the same instant from the viewpoint of the recipients, as obviously the rotation of the Earth has to be taken into account, but in SC's time frame.

[*][*] The observer determines the nature of the present hence the need for children to be 'good', SC simply delivers a present precursor which has been initialised into a state of quantum uncertainty by his sack.

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Driving fast is for a particular time and place, I can do it I just only do it occasionally because I am a gentleman.
- James May

Don' t the people who write that shite have lives?

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Oct 11 Birmingham Half Marathon. I am running for the British Heart Foundation.
http://www.justgiving.com/Rob-Taylor

Toltec - that is a very amusing piece of shite. Such whimsy makes the one life I do have much happier.

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When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
When I see a youth in a motor car I do d.c.brown

Reminds me of a different story I hope you'll enjoy dcb. Not trying to steal your thread Steve - honest..

Hell explained by a chemistry student

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

- Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for as how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their Religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these Religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

just Claus and effect

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Driving fast is for a particular time and place, I can do it I just only do it occasionally because I am a gentleman.
- James May

Sort of drives ahole through alot of theories,don't it .

First of all - obesity is unhealthy ,they preach - but hey ,Santa's HOW old ,he gets round the world in one night andhe still manages to get down chimneys - so debunking that myth .

Secondly -drink driving - could it be that he stores any glasses of drink to have when he's off duty -after all has anyone ever seen a flying sleigh travelling in a drunken fashion-or indeed has anyone seen him drink anything .

Thirdly - with all the speed cameras in use -why hasen't he had a ticket .But then speed limits apply to vehicles on the road -not in flight .

Perhaps the Scrooges might have a rethink .Or is this another step to rebrand Christmas as "Winterfest"

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lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on