Safe Speed Forums

(B) "bad case of overgritting, by the council, if you ask me!"

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

(B) " When they said they were going to fill that pothole in, I wasn't expecting such them to send ten pothole gangs to the same job!"

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

(B) "Now will you believe me when I said I saw a giant mole on the way back from the pub last night?"

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

(A) " I know they've been moaning at the farmers to clean out the ditches for a while but I think they might have gone a bit over the top, now!"

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Rufus had been misled, and managed to lose the chuck wagon too, after Dick Dastardly's latest wheeze!




Dick Dastardly would stop at NOTHING to prevent the other Whacky Racers from finishing the race!

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

a) "Is this the way to Amarrilo...?"

b) "You can't shift it just yet, a rare toad just started breeding there, and the habitat has to remain untouched until it returns to the pond!"

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Belated entry:

a) "Good job I'm wearing a helmet"

b) "These speed bumps are really getting ridiculous now"

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Only when ideology, prejudice and dogma are set aside does the truth emerge - Kepler

A) If you could just ride off the edge and over the precipice, it will stop those few who think this pic is photoshopped!


B) Look, all you have to do is pretend you didn't see it, and crash into the dirt, and I'll send the video to "You've Been Framed" and bob's your uncle, we're £250 better off!

I'll be gutted if Pete wins... coming in here late after three pages of captions! When I was at school you got more than a detention for coming in this late without a note from your mum to say you'd had the dentist!

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

I'm only late 'cos I'm a slow thinker

And one look at my teeth will tell you that I haven't had no dentist

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Only when ideology, prejudice and dogma are set aside does the truth emerge - Kepler

"Fec do I wish I hadn’t subscribed to 'I’m a Nob-Head get me out of here' "




New dft traffic calming proves to be very effective.

Double negative violation Pete!

£10 fine made payable to bigtonepaypalaccount @ripoff.com *



* Disclaimer.. I just made that up but it looks like a real link or something. It's not!

tonesayssorry@donate£1000000tome.com

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

No! No! No!
That's a triple negative!

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Only when ideology, prejudice and dogma are set aside does the truth emerge - Kepler

Race commentator :
a) ... and Tony's got a great lead there now over Graball ....
b) ... No Wait - Ah that's the landslide away .... now the question that we all want to know is did Tony make it through, before the time limit was up & the landslide triggers ... Oh wait - yes, is that him ? - Errr, I think I see him .... Yes, he's through, wonderful, but that must have been very close ...

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Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

(A) "I'm sure that this pothole has got bigger since when I came this way earlier today!"


(B) Mr B Codswallop, the highways chief, is believed to have won the lottery on wednesday night and has not been seen in the office for the last couple of days, however he was last seen storming off, muttering something about getting his own back on the constant moaners who have nothing better to do than complain about the number of potholes on highway 29.

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

(B) Irate JCB driver, loses his temper with council pothole inspection team, who insist that the pothole on interstate 29, isn't deep enough to warrant an instant repair.Avalanche rescue teams have been dispatched to search for 4 buried highways inspectors.

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

(B)Local councillor buys house on main road and objects to locals using the road, past his front door, as the local "rat run", making it access only!
(A) "I don't think much of this new diversion, now that councillor Sillysod has had the A1, made access only!"

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Well folks, it's about time that I judged and gave the results for, this competition.

I've actually been putting it off and dreading doing it because it's been so damn hard to decide on a winner. I made it even more difficult for myself by setting two pics (won't be doing that again) and the entries have been consistently good.

Here are some of the ones that made me laugh the most (in no particular order apart from how they appear on screen.

New TomTom SatNav updates include user defined shortcuts

A) New Cycling Proficiency Test is made harder to fall in line with Euro legislation”
B) Get your bricks on route 66.

Don't worry, it'll soon be cleared... I told the police that there was a doughnut van buried under the debris!
I told you this is what happens when great British engineers design something great, and then British people try and build it!”.


b) They're going to send a JCB right away, but there has to be a risk assessment first, and the operator wont start until there is a PortaLoo on site!

The governments taxes on land fill had unfortunately led to some serious instances of fly tipping.

Plans for new motorway look dubious even at this early model stage. The modellers assured the Council that it has been built accurately according to drawings provided. The Council are delighted, and it seems have yet to spot the problem.

*

a) Town planners had decreed that all new structures have to fit in with their surroundings ... even bridges.

b) Bl**dy Sat Nav, this road isn't even finished yet.


Dick Dastardly would stop at NOTHING to prevent the other Whacky Racers from finishing the race!



a) "Good job I'm wearing a helmet"

b) "These speed bumps are really getting ridiculous now

"Fec do I wish I hadn’t subscribed to 'I’m a Nob-Head get me out of here' "

I'm going to have to go away, lock myself in a padded room and try and come up with a winner. I'm the meantime all bribes accepted (and a few threats, Tone) and made payable to myself...

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Well after narrowing it down, both Ernest and Big Tone came up with a lot of funnies (and everyone else had me laughing too) but by a small whisker, I think Tone came up with the funniest remark to picture (a) ..which I thought was the hardest...with...


"Fec do I wish I hadn’t subscribed to 'I’m a Nob-Head get me out of here' "


and his best for pic (b) was......

Get your bricks on route 66.


So, due to a big bribe and even bigger threats....... this competitons winner is.... Big Tone , followed by Ernest and everyone else a close third.

Over to you, Tone to set the next and best of luck....

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Oh Why thank you sir.

And thanks on behalf of the team I have working for me behind the scenes. (I wish)

I'll call the heavies off this time Grabs, but don't mess with me again or I'll have you poked with the soft cushions followed by the comfy chair!!!

Right then; so I'm back in the barrel. Did you know people understand that all around the world? (Well, I found out they knew it in Amerika when I lived there)

I'm going to try and find something very different this time....

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Well Done Tone ! & Earnest Marsh and everyone else in third

I have certainly had many a good laugh !

I can usually find an image ... if you are getting at all stuck BT ?

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Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

Yes please Claire; I'm looking for a Vietnamese police officer on a pogo stick chasing a wet three-legged circus dog.

(Boy am I gunna have egg on my face if she finds one).

I'll have a quick surf first thanks.

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.