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A major research institute has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known.

It has been called "Governmentium". It has 1 neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons giving an atomic mass of 312. these particles are held together by forces called morons which are surrounded by small particles called peons.

Governmentium has no electrons and so is inert. It is detectable as it impedes everything it contacts. For example, a small amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction lasting just a few seconds to take over 4 days to complete.

Governmentium does not decay with time but instead its mass increases with morons becoming neutrons and forming isodopes. Governmentium is formed when morons reach a critical concentration referred to as "critical morass".

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium which radiates even more energy as it has twice as many morons.

(with thanks to Gerry Woolf of BEST)

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Malcolm W.
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not represent the views of Safespeed.

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Oct 11 Birmingham Half Marathon. I am running for the British Heart Foundation.
http://www.justgiving.com/Rob-Taylor

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Mike

While Governmentium appears to be quite stable in most environments, equatorial regions appear to have a different form (Isodope?) of Governmentium where instability is commonplace.

Further investigations reveal that Governmentium can somehow 'change its form' every five years or so. This behaviour, so far, is quite incomprehensible, because even after quite radical changes overall properties appear to be unaffected.

It's believed, but has yet to be proven, that high energy particles known as 'Smiths' can split Governmentium.

Of all the properties, Governmentium is most quickly recognised by its massive inertia (resistance to beneficial change). In such cases, bombardment with a large number of Smiths may be the only answer.

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Paul Smith
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